Establish clear community guidelines about acceptable behavior and communication. These should cover respect, tolerance, and the types of language that are unacceptable. Clearly communicate the rules and the consequences of breaking them. This helps set boundaries and expectations. Use features like upvoting or boosting to encourage constructive engagement and positive contributions.
When faced with conflict, respond in a calm and neutral tone, even in the face of provocation. Handle sensitive issues or heated conflicts through private messages or a designated area rather than in public threads. Regularly solicit feedback from the community about the environment and adapt strategies as needed. Recognise and respect cultural differences within the community, and be sensitive to how these might impact interactions. Ensure that community policies and moderation practices are inclusive and account for diverse community member backgrounds.
Active Listening: Pay close attention to what the other person is saying without planning your response. Allow them to finish their thoughts without interruption. Use phrases like “What I’m hearing is…” and “It sounds like you feel…” to reflect back what you’ve heard and clarify points of confusion.
Control Your Tone: Keep your voice calm and even. Avoid escalating your tone and volume. Acknowledge the feelings and frustrations of the other person. Recognising their emotional state can make them feel heard and understood. Even if you don’t agree, validate their concerns by acknowledging that their feelings or viewpoints are important.
Don’t Challenge Hostile Statements: Arguing typically escalates the situation. Instead, focus on finding common ground and avoid direct confrontation over disagreements. Sometimes, not responding to provocations can prevent a situation from worsening. Appropriately used, humor can defuse a tense situation. However, ensure it’s not sarcastic or belittling.
Give Choices: Providing choices empowers the other person and can give them a sense of control over the situation. Involve them in finding a solution. This cooperation can reduce hostility and build a partnership.
Clearly Define Acceptable Behaviors: If someone’s behavior is unacceptable, clearly and calmly define what behaviors are acceptable. Be firm but respectful in enforcing boundaries, explaining the necessity of the limits set.
Suggest a Break: If emotions run too high, suggest a pause in the discussion. A short break can allow everyone to cool down and regroup. Gently steer the conversation away from personal attacks or emotional triggers to more neutral topics or productive discussions.
Post-Conflict Review: After a de-escalation, review what happened to learn from the incident. Check back in with the person to see how they are doing and if further resolution is needed.
